Rest in Peace, World's Oldest Person

Misao Okawa, the world's oldest person, died on Wednesday at the age of 117. Members of her family told the Associated Press that Okawa died of heart failure and stopped breathing at her nursing home in Osaka, Japan. » 4/01/15 10:15am Today 10:15am

There Is Wisdom Behind Mine Eyes, Spake Justin Bieber

The campaign to humanize Justin Bieber continues. Is it going well? Not exactly. I guess it depends on how you feel about Justin Bieber already, but to be honest, sometimes it's hard to figure out what he's even talking about. Examine: » 3/31/15 5:00pm Yesterday 5:00pm

Are You the Shitbag Who Straight Up Axe-Murdered This Tree? 

A crazy thing to do is kill another person. A less crazy thing to do is to take an axe to a tree in the Upper West Side and deplete it of the nutrients it needs to survive. The latter, however, is still a bad and terrible way to release your anger, so if it was you—own up! » 3/31/15 2:45pm Yesterday 2:45pm

Fish Oil Not So Perfect After All

In the American tradition of overdosing on vitamins in pill form instead of eating actual foods packed with the nutrients themselves, fish oil is one of our favorite go-to accompaniments to our disgusting junk food habit. In fact, it's become the third-most ingested supplement in the U.S., presumably because we… » 3/31/15 1:10pm Yesterday 1:10pm

Fred Durst Says He's Not Robert, Looks Pretty Murdery Anyway

The overwhelming popularity of the HBO miniseries The Jinx has brought down shame on the Durst family name. Dursts everywhere, whether directly related to the NYC real estate family or not, have had to assert their independence from the alleged serial killer. The man most often confused for a murderer? Limp Bizkit… » 3/27/15 2:45pm Friday 2:45pm

Two Missing in Still-Burning Rubble of East Village Building Explosion

Thursday's East Village building explosion has left 19 people injured, with four people in critical condition, the New York Times reports. At least two people have been declared missing since the blaze was put out and the damage assessed. The above image, taken by Twitter user @jdx, gives you a sense of the immense… » 3/27/15 11:45am Friday 11:45am

Eva Mendes: I've Said It Before and I'll Say It Again—Fuck Pants

As Eva Mendes desperately tries to sell the Eva Mendes for New York & Company clothing line, which is probably being pitched as "feminine" and "flirty," she must remind you: pants are bad and uncomfortable. Dresses (from the Eva Mendes for New York & Company collection) are great. But pants? No, thank you. » 3/27/15 9:50am Friday 9:50am

Italian-American Museum to Evict One of Little Italy's Last Italians

A museum dedicated to preserving the history of Italian-Americans in New York City has decided to evict one of the few remaining descendants of Italian immigrants living in Little Italy, the New York Times reports. » 3/26/15 2:30pm Thursday 2:30pm

Chiara de Blasio Is the Face of NYC Initiative to Fight Teen Depression

The daughter of NYC mayor Bill de Blasio, 20-year-old Chiara, is now the face of a New York City campaign to alleviate teen depression, DNAinfo reports. Chiara was outspoken about her struggles with depression and substance abuse during her father's campaign for mayor in 2013. » 3/26/15 12:10pm 3/26/15 12:10pm

McDonald's Is Shilling Big Mac Clothing For Fit "Trendy" People

Wearing clothes is mostly good. Being yourself, also good. Our official position is: Wear what you like. Unless what you like is memecore thermals adorned with enhanced images of Big Macs and sold to you by the McDonald's corporation. McDonald's is going into fashion, and it's bad. » 3/25/15 5:50pm 3/25/15 5:50pm

Taraji P. Henson's Son to Transfer Colleges After Racial Profiling

In a new issue of Uptown magazine, Empire star Taraji P. Henson says that her son, 20-year-old Marcel, was racially profiled at the University of Southern California and will transfer to Howard University, her alma mater. » 3/25/15 2:55pm 3/25/15 2:55pm

Auf Weider Zayn Goodbye (to One Direction)

Hey, Zayniacs. Having a good day? Feeling refreshed and remaining positive about the future of One Direction, despite Zayn Malik's recent decision to take time off in order to recuperate from stress brought on by the media? I think you might need to sit down. » 3/25/15 1:22pm 3/25/15 1:22pm

New Yorkers Apparently Still Care About Having 212 Phone Numbers

You remember the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine tries to get the 212 phone number of her dead neighbor Mrs. Krantz because she believes dialing the 646 area code takes too long? The New York Times has a report saying that New Yorkers still eagerly covet the 212 area code for their cell phones. These people sound… » 3/25/15 12:30pm 3/25/15 12:30pm

Here's to the N.J. Councilwoman Who Flipped Double Birds at the Mayor

New Jersey, a state known for its equal number of local heroes, sheroes, and zeroes, has gained itself another member of the boss-applesauce community when a councilwoman from Mahwah flipped two middle fingers to the mayor of her town, calling him a "piece of shit" at a council meeting. Now that's how to get things… » 3/24/15 6:10pm 3/24/15 6:10pm

I Can't Believe The Dr. Seuss Museum Won't Be Called The Seusseum 

Dr. Seuss, the guy who rhymed everything in all those books you read as a kid (or as an adult, no judgment), will be honored with a museum to his work in Springfield, Massachusetts set to open in mid-2016. According to a press release, the museum will be called The Amazing World of Dr. Seuss Museum, which is a huge… » 3/24/15 12:55pm 3/24/15 12:55pm

Salamanders Finally On Top, Fossils Show They Were Once Size of Cars

Salamanders: hell yeah, baby! You don't have to be the small guys on the playground anymore. When some stupid river fish swims over and calls you a pipsqueak, you can now invoke the holy memory of your forgotten ancestors—the recently discovered six-foot, toilet-seat-headed "super" salamanders. Who's the boss now? » 3/24/15 10:25am 3/24/15 10:25am